


Cullen Waits

by Farashe



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 07:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3438368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farashe/pseuds/Farashe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen waits for the Inquisitor to return from her final confrontation with Corypheus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cullen Waits

Green light filled the war room, streaming in from the windows. But that was not the only source of the light. More green light crackled and flickered in the palm of the Inquisitor’s left hand. She looked down at that hand briefly then her eyes met Cullen’s directly. He could read her resolve and determination in that gaze. He expected no less from her, and he was so proud in that moment that she had become their leader. And yet, he was also filled with a helpless despair. He had failed her, and she would bear the consequences. He was her Commander, but he had no army to send with her thus dooming her to fight alone.

Their council made what plans they could, but there really wasn’t much to discuss. She was their plan now, this slender elf with the beautiful eyes and kind smile.

Well, her and Morrigan anyway. He chafed that he had to trust the Inquisitor’s life to the questionable loyalty of the black-haired witch, but they had no choice. And no time.

Josephine, Leliana, and Morrigan left the chamber to make what preparations they could, but he remained with Myrlana, their eyes still locked over the war table.

“Forgive me,” he whispered, breaking from her gaze to look down, unseeing, at the map spread across the table. She moved swiftly around the table to his side and covered one of his hands with her own. It was her left hand. Green light leaking out around the edges of her palm.

“You haven’t failed me, Cullen. You couldn’t fail me. There is nothing for me to forgive.” She gave him a trembling smile. “Just be here when I get back, alright?”

He saw then the fear in her eyes mixed with her resolve. She had kept it hidden in front of the others, but she had always allowed him to see more. He knew she worried she would fail (a silly worry as he was certain she would succeed...whatever the cost to herself). He knew he couldn’t say anything at this moment to change any of that so he just turned toward her and pulled her to him as he had that day in the Chantry. She would come back to him. She had to. She’d done it at Haven and Adamant. She would this time as well.

She had to.

When he pulled away, he kept her left hand in his turning it palm up and pressing a small object into the midst of the flickering green light. It was the small token his brother had given him so long ago. She had refused it before, that day at the lake, insisting that she wanted him to keep his luck for himself, but he wouldn’t let her refuse again. He needed her to take it. It was all he could do for her now.

“I know it’s foolish,” he murmured, echoing his words at the lake.

She slowly closed her fingers over the luck-piece then brought her right hand to his cheek gently rubbing her fingers against the rough stubble.

“I’ll return this, Cullen. I promise.”

He felt a tear begin to slide down his face before she brushed it gently away. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. He cupped her face between his hands and knew he held the most precious gift in all the world. But then, with a murmured “I love you” against his lips, she broke the kiss.

He didn’t let go right away though; her face was still cradled between his hands. “And I love you, Myrlana Lavellan. You _will_ come back to me.” And so he released her, and she walked out of the war room without a backward glance.

He stood alone in the war room for a few moments, gathering himself to be the Commander of the Inquisition once more. When he left that room, he walked with confidence and gravity, and when he watched the Inquisitor leave Skyhold to go into the valley, he shed no more tears.

\---

Skyhold was silent, eerily silent. Servants, merchants, craftspeople all remained, but the usual bustle and chatter was gone. Chores were performed listlessly or not at all, conversations were held in murmurs and whispers, and what noise and activity there was ceased when the Commander of the Inquisition walked past. Eyes followed him as he moved through the courtyard to the great hall of the fortress. If he had looked in those eyes, he would have seen compassion and tense anticipation. The anticipation was for her, the Inquisitor, but the compassion was for him.

They waited for their Herald to return. They knew that to him, she was something even more than Andraste’s Chosen.

Cullen knew in the part of his mind that could still be rational and detached that as Commander, he should be visible, perhaps keeping watch at the gates, but as a man, he couldn’t. And so he made his way to the small Chantry chapel by the garden, that place where he had held Myrlana and told her the she would come back to him. He needed that certainty now.

Unlike then, the chapel was now full to bursting as the devout prayed for salvation. Yet crowded as it was, they made room for Cullen. They cleared space for him at Andraste’s feet though he barely noticed their consideration. He just knelt in the space given, bowed his head and prayed. He had never prayed for anything as fervently as he did then. She must survive, she must come back to him.

Time ceased to exist for Cullen. He couldn’t say how long he knelt there in the Chantry for every moment of worry felt like an eternity to him. But even this eternity did end.

It started with a gasp from someone outside in the garden. The perfect silence in the Chantry meant the gasp was audible even where Cullen knelt though it did not register to him. He didn’t notice the exclamations that followed it either as people began to filter out of the Chantry and see what was going on. It wasn’t until someone put their hand on his shoulder that he broke from his reverie. He looked up to see Leliana and felt a flicker of surprise to see her with tears in her eyes.

“She’s done it Cullen,” Leliana said softly. “The sky is healed.” There was a hopeful smile on her face, so different from her usual demeanor; the expression made her look younger, softer, almost unrecognizable.

Cullen stood slowly and walked into the garden. He turned his face toward the sky and saw the faintly glowing scar that showed where the Breach had been. Indeed it seemed that the Inquisitor had succeeded and once more healed the sky. And yet, he could not join the celebrations. He’d known she would succeed in her quest. That had never been his doubt. His fears came from wondering what she would have to sacrifice in the process.

And so his wait continued. He thought of perhaps returning to the Chantry, but he couldn’t now. He was too restless. She would be coming back soon now. If she was coming back. He took one more long look at the ribbon of light that scarred the sky then began to pace.

He could hear the beginnings of celebration. Voices rose above the hushed tones of worry. Instead they chattered with excited energy. In one corner of the garden, Cullen heard someone begin singing a hymn. Other voices joined the song until it was all he could hear. He continued to pace. Didn’t they understand?

_Bare your blade  
And raise it high_

The voices kept singing. The words finally making an impression in his mind. He stopped pacing. This wasn’t just any song they were singing.

_Stand your ground  
The dawn will come._

He remembered that night so clearly. Looking out into the night, knowing that it was hopeless, knowing that she had fallen at Haven. And yet he had kept his vigil. He had stood in the cold and hoped and she had come. A flicker of green light in the darkness. Not only had she returned to them when everyone had known she had died, she had also united them, brought them here to Skyhold. Brought hope.

_The night is long  
And the path is dark_

She would come back.

_Look to the sky_

Cullen looked up again and chose to see hope in the sky this time.

_For one day soon_

He walked quickly out of the garden. It was time for him to be at the gates, waiting for the Lady Inquisitor’s return.

_The Dawn Will Come._

**Author's Note:**

> I can't even imagine how hard it would be to watch the person you love go off into terrible danger while you stay behind. Add to that the fact that the Inquisition's armies are still elsewhere, and you get a Commander that is worried as all get out. Anyway, worried Cullen is probably my favorite Cullen.
> 
> Also, The Dawn Will Come is a lovely song, and it has inspired so many emotions for me.
> 
> So, yup. Hope you liked it. Thanks!


End file.
